Ever since the FDA started deliberations on the approval of HIV prevention medicine, The Father’s prayer line has been stormed with questions asking if HIV is no longer a preferred punishment method from Him. We want the public to be aware that HIV was never a punishment method from The Father.
Though it is true that diseases have been used from time to time to correct the ways of man, Sennacherib’s army being an example, The Father has never been involved in using HIV for such purposes. Diseases from The Father have to meet the Triple Standard; they have to be swift, mysterious, and incurable. HIV does not fit The Father’s criteria since it is not swift, mysterious, and recently, preventable.
It is only those who are interested in staining The Father’s reputation that have been involved in spreading the rumor that He has been involved in punishing the world by sending HIV to curb the errant nature of man. The Father hereby approves this prevention pill and also provides it as proof that He is not interested in punishing men and women whose eyes cause them to sin regularly.
On behalf of The Father, we also make it known today that monkeys were never involved in the first case of HIV; to think that is sick, and to the humans who involve themselves in frolicking with animals, don’t tempt The Father, Sodom and Gomorrah is less than 2 weeks old in Heaven time.
The best form of prevention of the disease is abstinence and saying no to sharing implements the virus can live on-don’t worry, we won’t count your selfishness as a sin in this matter. We also use this oppourtunity to address the subject of abstinence for women who still ask if their pregnancy is a punishment from The Father. The answer is no, it is a gift that comes with the act. Abstinence is still the best protection (except for Mary-a Heavenly joke here, we hope you get it).
Signed
Chief Spokesperson for the Heavenly Host
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