We will never understand Americans. They can agree that student loan interest rates are getting too high, agree that they need to do something about it, then disagree on how to pay for it. They can agree that debt is bad, agree that something must be done about their debt, then disagree on what to do about the debt. They can even agree that unwanted pregnancies are really not wanted, agree that contraception is a good idea, then disagree about the method to pay for it and those who should use it. This type of nonsense will never happen in our beloved Nigeria, the chosen people in our updated world ending plans.
When Nigerians agree that a road needs to be built and that is all that’s need. The next step for them is usually selecting a committee that will oversee the members of a subcommittee that will look into the feasibility of making sure the road is built on time. In Nigeria, the problem is never how to pay for something-they have all agreed that they should pay for it-rather, they are usually worried about the members of the committee that has been elected to look into the feasibility of making sure the road is built on time. Suppose your father was a Nigerian, his opponents will come out and give reasons he should not be on any committee that has to do with constructing the road, good reasons are given and they usually range from his credentials in university to untimely death, a grave concern.
And while Americans are busy worried about whether teachers can retire with a fund that grows at 5% interest when they are 60 or 4% interest when they are 59, Nigerians are concerned about their students never forgetting their teachers. For Americans, that 5% and 4% issue is a first world problem that works only for their Democrat and Republican parties. Democrats can say 5% is good because it is just reward for teachers, and Republicans can say 4% is better, the country saves more money. We advise that they should be like the Nigerians who decided a long time ago that the teacher’s reward is definitely in Heaven.
Today, to win an election is a simple case of ideology and Americans love ideology. They eat it when they are at dinner parties. In their political conversations, People’s Heaven and Hell futures have been revealed based on their ideologies. And book titles like “God is a Republican” or “Christ is a Democrat” make our Retraction and Denial Departments work overtime. May The Father help us.
There is only one way we have approved to winning elections, have no ideology. We approve of the example of Nigerians, as our chosen people, they have no ideology. In a country where the party name changes based on the frequency of how mad you can make the party’s chairman and convince him he can start his own party, who has time for ideology? The Democrat American is thinking to himself, we need to make the common man the center point in any election, the government has to favor him and big companies must stop robbing the poor; the Republican is thinking to himself, we need big companies to pay for things the poor can’t afford, if we tax the rich too high we send their business to other countries, the government’s favor should only be towards those who contribute significantly to the government. If you show a Nigerian this thinking he will agree with both (every Nigerian is a business owner and every business owner [by reason] is also a citizen).
We have said too much and written too little. We love America. But we want theirs to be the cautionary tale on how to win elections because there is only one approved method that we agree to, have no ideology. We ask all future presidential aspirants to become like Nigerians, a people we are proud of. For Nigerians, once they have a presidential vision, there is nothing that can stop them, especially an ideology.
Chief Spokesperson for The Heavenly Post